Fishy Wishes

Dear Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York,

As you can see, I’m writing to you on my most adorable fishy stationery, in hopes of eliciting a response from you. Spooky, the black goldfish pictured on this sheet, and I would both like more information about your large, flying rabbit program. I’m a fan of cleaner air and Spooky is a fan of cleaner water, both of which I expect would be benefits of you exciting rodent initiative.

Where might I board the flying rabbits? Are there seat-side trays where Spooky may ride safely with me? At which stations do the large rabbits stop? Or is it more like a taxi service? If they follow pre-determined routes, does the round button with the route letter or number glow, while the others remain dim? How will I be able to tell when a rabbit is no longer in service?

Spooky and I will be waiting eagerly by our mailbox for your response!

Warm, bubbling regards,
Virginia

Bringing in the MBTA

Dear Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority,

Are General Manager Grabauskas and Secretary Cohen familiar with the recent initiative by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York to use large flying rabbits to relieve subway congestion? I think that a similar program would be welcome and successful in our fair city of Boston (and the larger Metropolitan area). Especially in light of continued delays to MBTA line extensions mandated to counteract the environmental impact of the Big Dig, the implementation of flying rodents of unusual size could be a quick fix.

With September 25th being the 20th anniversary of The Princess Bride, Boston has an unprecedented opportunity to celebrate an icon of popular culture and provide work for the refugees of the Fire Swamp. We all know that there isn’t much work for rodents of unusual size these days, so there may even be a federal grant to cover the implementation costs. Good press, fewer grumpy commuters, and a city-wide celebration of interspecies partnership – it’s a win-win-win!

I would love to discuss this plan with you in greater detail!

Sincerely,
Virginia

Follow Up Letter #1

Dear Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York,

Almost a month has passed since my last letter to you, and I have not received a response. Perhaps my first letter got lost in the mail. If not, please accept my apologies for the repeated request and reply post haste!

1. Where may I board the large flying rabbit featured on posters in the subway cars?
2. Does it cost extra to sit by the tail?
3. How might Boston implement this inventive and forward-thinking strategy?
4. Do you have any figures on the average commute time via flying rabbit?
5. What the the fuel costs and comparative emissions levels of this mode of transit?

Congratulations again on this inspiring and ground-breaking development in public transportation. I eagerly anticipate your response!

Respectfully,
Virginia