Dear MTA,
Why do companies take so long to respond to job applicants? At each stage of the process, the job seekers hopes and patience are worn thin, as they wait, lose hope, and repeat the cycle. In much the way that you have neglected my letters, Human Resources mangers and staffing agency recruiters offer little to no information, no matter how frequently or infrequently I contact them.
Perhaps the flying bunny would like a part-time job on the side, bullying potential employers on behalf of the unemployed and under-employed.
Inquiringly,Virginia
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
R.I.P. Spooky
Dear MTA (May I call you that?),
I regret to inform you that Spooky has passed on to the great aquarium in the sky… or to the Boston Water and Sewer Commission, to be more exact. I’m feeling a bit droopy myself in light of your silence. A letter (or job offer) from you would really pick me up and let me know that Spooky’s sacrifice was not wasted.
In Mourning,
Virginia
I regret to inform you that Spooky has passed on to the great aquarium in the sky… or to the Boston Water and Sewer Commission, to be more exact. I’m feeling a bit droopy myself in light of your silence. A letter (or job offer) from you would really pick me up and let me know that Spooky’s sacrifice was not wasted.
In Mourning,
Virginia
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Employment Proposal and Surface Swimming
Dear Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York,
Why haven’t you responded to my previous three letters? Spooky has entered a rather severe state of depression. He has taken to swimming the back stroke near the surface of the fish bowl to combat his sorrow.
Perhaps your efforts at renovating New York City’s public transportation options require all of your attention. However, in the interest of benefiting the world at large with your discoveries, may I suggest that you employ a small group of people to answer the fan mail and inquiries that are inevitably resulting from your work?
In fact, I would like to apply for such a job opening. Writing samples and a copy of my resume are available upon request. I would also be willing to conduct interviews and prepare orientation materials, so that all members of the correspondence team will be adequately informed to fill their role.
Please let me know when a member of your staff would be available to discuss and implement this important support structure for your invaluable work!
Enthusiastically,
Virginia
Why haven’t you responded to my previous three letters? Spooky has entered a rather severe state of depression. He has taken to swimming the back stroke near the surface of the fish bowl to combat his sorrow.
Perhaps your efforts at renovating New York City’s public transportation options require all of your attention. However, in the interest of benefiting the world at large with your discoveries, may I suggest that you employ a small group of people to answer the fan mail and inquiries that are inevitably resulting from your work?
In fact, I would like to apply for such a job opening. Writing samples and a copy of my resume are available upon request. I would also be willing to conduct interviews and prepare orientation materials, so that all members of the correspondence team will be adequately informed to fill their role.
Please let me know when a member of your staff would be available to discuss and implement this important support structure for your invaluable work!
Enthusiastically,
Virginia
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Fishy Wishes
Dear Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York,As you can see, I’m writing to you on my most adorable fishy stationery, in hopes of eliciting a response from you. Spooky, the black goldfish pictured on this sheet, and I would both like more information about your large, flying rabbit program. I’m a fan of cleaner air and Spooky is a fan of cleaner water, both of which I expect would be benefits of you exciting rodent initiative.
Where might I board the flying rabbits? Are there seat-side trays where Spooky may ride safely with me? At which stations do the large rabbits stop? Or is it more like a taxi service? If they follow pre-determined routes, does the round button with the route letter or number glow, while the others remain dim? How will I be able to tell when a rabbit is no longer in service?
Spooky and I will be waiting eagerly by our mailbox for your response!
Warm, bubbling regards,
Virginia
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Bringing in the MBTA
Dear Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority,
Are General Manager Grabauskas and Secretary Cohen familiar with the recent initiative by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York to use large flying rabbits to relieve subway congestion? I think that a similar program would be welcome and successful in our fair city of Boston (and the larger Metropolitan area). Especially in light of continued delays to MBTA line extensions mandated to counteract the environmental impact of the Big Dig, the implementation of flying rodents of unusual size could be a quick fix.
With September 25th being the 20th anniversary of The Princess Bride, Boston has an unprecedented opportunity to celebrate an icon of popular culture and provide work for the refugees of the Fire Swamp. We all know that there isn’t much work for rodents of unusual size these days, so there may even be a federal grant to cover the implementation costs. Good press, fewer grumpy commuters, and a city-wide celebration of interspecies partnership – it’s a win-win-win!
I would love to discuss this plan with you in greater detail!
Sincerely,
Virginia
Are General Manager Grabauskas and Secretary Cohen familiar with the recent initiative by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York to use large flying rabbits to relieve subway congestion? I think that a similar program would be welcome and successful in our fair city of Boston (and the larger Metropolitan area). Especially in light of continued delays to MBTA line extensions mandated to counteract the environmental impact of the Big Dig, the implementation of flying rodents of unusual size could be a quick fix.
With September 25th being the 20th anniversary of The Princess Bride, Boston has an unprecedented opportunity to celebrate an icon of popular culture and provide work for the refugees of the Fire Swamp. We all know that there isn’t much work for rodents of unusual size these days, so there may even be a federal grant to cover the implementation costs. Good press, fewer grumpy commuters, and a city-wide celebration of interspecies partnership – it’s a win-win-win!
I would love to discuss this plan with you in greater detail!
Sincerely,
Virginia
Monday, September 17, 2007
Follow Up Letter #1
Dear Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York,
Almost a month has passed since my last letter to you, and I have not received a response. Perhaps my first letter got lost in the mail. If not, please accept my apologies for the repeated request and reply post haste!
Almost a month has passed since my last letter to you, and I have not received a response. Perhaps my first letter got lost in the mail. If not, please accept my apologies for the repeated request and reply post haste!
- Where may I board the large flying rabbit featured on posters in the subway cars?
- Does it cost extra to sit by the tail?
- How might Boston implement this inventive and forward-thinking strategy?
- Do you have any figures on the average commute time via flying rabbit?
- What the the fuel costs and comparative emissions levels of this mode of transit?
Congratulations again on this inspiring and ground-breaking development in public transportation. I eagerly anticipate your response!
Respectfully,
Virginia
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The letter that started it all
Dear Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York,
Where might one board the large flying rabbits featured on the advertisements in your subway cars? This appears to be a wonderful option, with comfortable seating, faster trips, and fewer traffic delays. Congratulations on your innovative thinking and please let us know how this project develops.
Sincerely,
Virginia
Where might one board the large flying rabbits featured on the advertisements in your subway cars? This appears to be a wonderful option, with comfortable seating, faster trips, and fewer traffic delays. Congratulations on your innovative thinking and please let us know how this project develops.
Sincerely,
Virginia
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
