Dear Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York,
Why haven’t you responded to my previous three letters? Spooky has entered a rather severe state of depression. He has taken to swimming the back stroke near the surface of the fish bowl to combat his sorrow.
Perhaps your efforts at renovating New York City’s public transportation options require all of your attention. However, in the interest of benefiting the world at large with your discoveries, may I suggest that you employ a small group of people to answer the fan mail and inquiries that are inevitably resulting from your work?
In fact, I would like to apply for such a job opening. Writing samples and a copy of my resume are available upon request. I would also be willing to conduct interviews and prepare orientation materials, so that all members of the correspondence team will be adequately informed to fill their role.
Please let me know when a member of your staff would be available to discuss and implement this important support structure for your invaluable work!
Enthusiastically,
Virginia
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